The trouble with positive thinking

Have you ever tried to change your life by thinking positively? Have you decided that the root of all evil in your life is the way you think, and therefore decided to change it?

If you answered yes to those questions, you are not alone. Positive thinking is an idea that has gained great popularity over the last few years, and it’s an idea that is prominent in self help books. There is no doubt that it can be very helpful to think in a positive manner, but there are times when it does more harm than good .

Forcing yourself to think positive can do the opposite of what it’s meant to do. This is because doing so is a reminder of just how inadequate or downcast you feel. When you force yourself to think positively and reprimand yourself when you don’t, you simply become more aware of what led you to turn to positive thinking in the first place. You are reminded of your condition because while your thoughts represent a better world , your reality is different. The more you force yourself to engage with the good, the more the bad is highlighted.

In our positive thoughts we often wish the best for ourselves, but somehow manage to set unrealistic expectations and find ourselves disappointed when we don’t achieve what we forces ourselves to think. We also then start to view thinking positively as a task that needs completion, and when we don’t complete it we become angry at ourselves for being so negative, which lead to an unhealthy cycle of self hatred.

Once again thinking possibility has it’s benefits and had aided many people, but it still has its drawbacks, especially when we force ourselves to do it. When it comes to negative thoughts a healthier alternative could be thinking about evidence that counteracts the negative thoughts you have, because by finding that you lessen the power the thoughts have.

What has your experience with positive thinking been?

What are some alternatives to positive thinking that you age tried?

Thank you for reading and I hope to see you again

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Why we take the escalator

Life can be filled with dread. Some of us may dread getting out of bed and starting the day, some of us are burdened with responsibility and some of us are unable to manage the hard punches life throws at us.

Let’s face it, life isn’t pretty. We’ve all seen and experienced gnarly things. We have experienced trauma, pain and hurt. Sometimes every day can seem like a new battle. It’s hard to remain positive , and managing the stress and pain has proven to be very difficult. So what do we do in times like these?

We take the escalator. We take the escalator because any and every break is well needed. We may not realize it but by taking the escalator we are declaring our need to rest. We are acknowledging that it is all too much. Taking the escalator instead of the tiring stairs is a clear reflection of the rest we need. Our spirits and souls need rest, and if taking the escalator is a way to get just a snippet of relaxation, we are more than willing to take it.

This may seem far fetched, or your response might be ” no… we take the escalator because we’re lazy and don’t want to tackle the stairs!”. That’s okay too. But maybe you’re so tired from having to deal with life, with yourself, with thoughts, worries, anxieties and fears that not having to think about pain in your knees and being short of breath is something you would gladly welcome.

Maybe that’s your way of saying you’ve had enough, that you need rest, you need stillness, even if it’s just for a minute, you need it, and that’s okay too.

Next time you take the escalator, think of the purpose it serves, and the deeper reason behind it.

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time.

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The Importance of Letting Go

Letting go is an incredibly difficult act. It can be extremely hard to let go, because the events that are plaguing us have had a significant impact on our minds, emotions and state of being. We are unable to let go because of many reasons. One being we become so accustomed to pain that we welcome it, two we believe we deserve the torment we force ourselves to endure, and three we believe by holding on we still have control.

However this is not the case at all. While we continue to hold on to and feed the negative emotions, the control it has over us increases. We become more attached to the feeling, despite how painful it is. Pain becomes a familiar feeling, something you know all too well, and as a result you are afraid to give it up for something less familiar.

Letting go would mean starting over again. You would have to leave the cocoon that has been created and venture out into unfamiliar territory. The very thought of having to do so increases the comfort that holding on has, and as a result your grip tightens.

But in order to ensure growth, and healing you must let go of what is hurting you. You owe it to yourself to allow yourself to feel an emotion other than pain. You need to be selfish, for example the act of forgiveness is a selfish act, because it focuses entirely on releasing the dread that lives in your mind, body, and heart. There no better reason to be selfish!

There needs to be a constant reminder that you are important, and deserving. If this belief does not exist, taking steps to heal yourself will seem pointless. So if you would like to focus on releasing your pain, start by confirming the fact that you are worthy of just that.

When you accept that you are ” unworthy”, or “useless”, you deem these feelings as facts. As a result they become the only thoughts you have of yourself. Thoughts such as ” I am worthy”, and ” I deserve freedom” are thoughts that need to be confirmed, because they are true but your confirmation is needed. When you do this, when you truly believe enough is enough, you can begin the healing process that is brought on by letting go.