Category: happiness

The trouble with positive thinking

Have you ever tried to change your life by thinking positively? Have you decided that the root of all evil in your life is the way you think, and therefore decided to change it?

If you answered yes to those questions, you are not alone. Positive thinking is an idea that has gained great popularity over the last few years, and it’s an idea that is prominent in self help books. There is no doubt that it can be very helpful to think in a positive manner, but there are times when it does more harm than good .

Forcing yourself to think positive can do the opposite of what it’s meant to do. This is because doing so is a reminder of just how inadequate or downcast you feel. When you force yourself to think positively and reprimand yourself when you don’t, you simply become more aware of what led you to turn to positive thinking in the first place. You are reminded of your condition because while your thoughts represent a better world , your reality is different. The more you force yourself to engage with the good, the more the bad is highlighted.

In our positive thoughts we often wish the best for ourselves, but somehow manage to set unrealistic expectations and find ourselves disappointed when we don’t achieve what we forces ourselves to think. We also then start to view thinking positively as a task that needs completion, and when we don’t complete it we become angry at ourselves for being so negative, which lead to an unhealthy cycle of self hatred.

Once again thinking possibility has it’s benefits and had aided many people, but it still has its drawbacks, especially when we force ourselves to do it. When it comes to negative thoughts a healthier alternative could be thinking about evidence that counteracts the negative thoughts you have, because by finding that you lessen the power the thoughts have.

What has your experience with positive thinking been?

What are some alternatives to positive thinking that you age tried?

Thank you for reading and I hope to see you again

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Consider the moments

The need to be happy is a need that consumes many, if not all people. We all want to be happy, more specifically we all want to be in a constant state of happiness.

We love and fear happiness. We love happiness because it’s uplifting and takes us out of the sadness that many of us live in, and we fear it because we often find that it doesn’t last. In many cases happiness leaves as fast as it comes, leaving us desperate, and willing to do anything to achieve it.

The search for happiness is like a drug, and we’re always in constant pursuit of it, with nothing to show for it when we’re done. In many cases we have moments where we’re happy, then the high leaves and we’re transported back to reality. Some of us even feel silly for having pursued it in the first place.

But what if happiness isn’t meant to be a constant state? What if happiness only exists in brief moments? Teasing us as it comes, and leaving us yearning for more. What if happiness can only exist in short bursts of time?

We find happiness in events that don’t have a long shelf life. For example the happiness felt when getting your dream job, can only last as long as it can. The happiness you felt when finally seeing your loved one after a year can only last so long and so on.

I ask you to think of moments when you were truly happy. What made you happy and could that happiness have lasted longer based on the event?

The same theory should be applied to sadness. Sadness can only last so long, though we tend to think it overstays it’s visit. Sadness cannot reign in our hearts forever because there are other emotions to experienced. We cannot be defined by one emotion, which is why we have to calm our hearts by reminding ourselves that the storm will pass, and that life will get better.

Accepting the fact that happiness is fickle, and comes and goes as it pleases may may help us come to terms with the fact that not everyone is happy all the time. It may also help us better appreciate the moments when we find that we are actually filled with joy and a smile exists in our hearts, because though it may not last, it exists and it is there, and it is possible.