The trouble with positive thinking

Have you ever tried to change your life by thinking positively? Have you decided that the root of all evil in your life is the way you think, and therefore decided to change it?

If you answered yes to those questions, you are not alone. Positive thinking is an idea that has gained great popularity over the last few years, and it’s an idea that is prominent in self help books. There is no doubt that it can be very helpful to think in a positive manner, but there are times when it does more harm than good .

Forcing yourself to think positive can do the opposite of what it’s meant to do. This is because doing so is a reminder of just how inadequate or downcast you feel. When you force yourself to think positively and reprimand yourself when you don’t, you simply become more aware of what led you to turn to positive thinking in the first place. You are reminded of your condition because while your thoughts represent a better world , your reality is different. The more you force yourself to engage with the good, the more the bad is highlighted.

In our positive thoughts we often wish the best for ourselves, but somehow manage to set unrealistic expectations and find ourselves disappointed when we don’t achieve what we forces ourselves to think. We also then start to view thinking positively as a task that needs completion, and when we don’t complete it we become angry at ourselves for being so negative, which lead to an unhealthy cycle of self hatred.

Once again thinking possibility has it’s benefits and had aided many people, but it still has its drawbacks, especially when we force ourselves to do it. When it comes to negative thoughts a healthier alternative could be thinking about evidence that counteracts the negative thoughts you have, because by finding that you lessen the power the thoughts have.

What has your experience with positive thinking been?

What are some alternatives to positive thinking that you age tried?

Thank you for reading and I hope to see you again

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Why we take the escalator

Life can be filled with dread. Some of us may dread getting out of bed and starting the day, some of us are burdened with responsibility and some of us are unable to manage the hard punches life throws at us.

Let’s face it, life isn’t pretty. We’ve all seen and experienced gnarly things. We have experienced trauma, pain and hurt. Sometimes every day can seem like a new battle. It’s hard to remain positive , and managing the stress and pain has proven to be very difficult. So what do we do in times like these?

We take the escalator. We take the escalator because any and every break is well needed. We may not realize it but by taking the escalator we are declaring our need to rest. We are acknowledging that it is all too much. Taking the escalator instead of the tiring stairs is a clear reflection of the rest we need. Our spirits and souls need rest, and if taking the escalator is a way to get just a snippet of relaxation, we are more than willing to take it.

This may seem far fetched, or your response might be ” no… we take the escalator because we’re lazy and don’t want to tackle the stairs!”. That’s okay too. But maybe you’re so tired from having to deal with life, with yourself, with thoughts, worries, anxieties and fears that not having to think about pain in your knees and being short of breath is something you would gladly welcome.

Maybe that’s your way of saying you’ve had enough, that you need rest, you need stillness, even if it’s just for a minute, you need it, and that’s okay too.

Next time you take the escalator, think of the purpose it serves, and the deeper reason behind it.

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time.

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The Importance of Letting Go

Letting go is an incredibly difficult act. It can be extremely hard to let go, because the events that are plaguing us have had a significant impact on our minds, emotions and state of being. We are unable to let go because of many reasons. One being we become so accustomed to pain that we welcome it, two we believe we deserve the torment we force ourselves to endure, and three we believe by holding on we still have control.

However this is not the case at all. While we continue to hold on to and feed the negative emotions, the control it has over us increases. We become more attached to the feeling, despite how painful it is. Pain becomes a familiar feeling, something you know all too well, and as a result you are afraid to give it up for something less familiar.

Letting go would mean starting over again. You would have to leave the cocoon that has been created and venture out into unfamiliar territory. The very thought of having to do so increases the comfort that holding on has, and as a result your grip tightens.

But in order to ensure growth, and healing you must let go of what is hurting you. You owe it to yourself to allow yourself to feel an emotion other than pain. You need to be selfish, for example the act of forgiveness is a selfish act, because it focuses entirely on releasing the dread that lives in your mind, body, and heart. There no better reason to be selfish!

There needs to be a constant reminder that you are important, and deserving. If this belief does not exist, taking steps to heal yourself will seem pointless. So if you would like to focus on releasing your pain, start by confirming the fact that you are worthy of just that.

When you accept that you are ” unworthy”, or “useless”, you deem these feelings as facts. As a result they become the only thoughts you have of yourself. Thoughts such as ” I am worthy”, and ” I deserve freedom” are thoughts that need to be confirmed, because they are true but your confirmation is needed. When you do this, when you truly believe enough is enough, you can begin the healing process that is brought on by letting go.

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You’re harder on yourself than you need to be

We’re harder on ourselves than we need to be. We place extreme pressure on ourselves to be great, extraordinary and better. We always end up hurting ourselves because we are always looking to fulfill the constant need to not be who we are.

There is a race that takes place in our hearts and minds, and it urges us to find every single flaw as fast as we can, list them, and try to change them, and most of us are able to fulfill this urge/calling, some of us even manage to go above and beyond! But in the end we see that the race has done absolutely nothing for us. Instead when we’re at the finish line we find ourselves consumed with self-hatred, anger, and shame. The never-ending search has left us exhausted and , and as a result we bring ourselves right back to square one.

We also tend to think people are judging us in their minds and have x-ray vision because they are able to identify every flaw we have, so we cover ourselves up, so no one will confirm the horrible “truths” we think and feel about ourselves. We may not realize it but if someone had the power to be able to see right through us, we would be devastated, because we would have no defense and our worst moments would be exposed.

But are we psychic? Most of us don’t have access to every single thought someone has about us, so we mustn’t fear being ourselves despite every fiber of our being urging us to be someone … anyone else! But let’s say we were exposed to someone who had access to every single detail about us, our decisions, and actions. This is a nightmare because they’d see every nasty part of our being right? Yes that’s true but what about the good moments? What, you’re telling me you don’t have any good moments? Your good side exists, even if you feel it doesn’t surpass the bad, it exists. There have been moments where you have made someone laugh, someone has smiled because of you, someone has done something as simple as saving you a seat, giving you a hug, someone had had good thoughts about you! It may be hard to believe, but for every negative thing you can say or think about yourself, something positive is ready and waiting to rival it. This would be a good practice to enforce. Of course there are always parts of ourselves that need improvement but we cannot move on without acknowledging that we are good enough, because doing so will give us the fuel we need to do better.

You also have a gift that no one else has, you have access to the whole story. Others are only exposed to fragment’s, bits and pieces. You have lived through very single moment of your life, you are most familiar with the painful moments, the hardest moments, and the best moments. So even if you are your harshest critic, cut yourself some slack because you’re doing the best you can, and that is to be applauded, believe it or not.

Thank you for reading, and before you find something more entertaining to do, please read the tips and tricks section for well.. tips and tricks you can enforce to clear the muddle in your mind. Please note that today’s tip and trick is not to be done for Every. Single. Negative. Thought, but only for the ones that bother you the most.

Tips and tricks- Try searching for a good thought for every bad thought that bothers you. This may be fun or very annoying and tedious but once you do find that tidbit of info you need, you’ll be very pleased.